i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
