I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
