I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
