I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
