i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
