I just threw up on my dentist
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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