ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
then he tried to convert me to islam
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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