you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
