my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
