just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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