How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
