I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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