Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
