whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Oh god it's open bar.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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