HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I checked into jail on foursquare
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
