Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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