Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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