Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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