I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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