he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
