I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
handjob tips. give me some.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
