3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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