he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
