My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
