What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
