Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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