In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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