Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
