just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
