I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
