so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
