I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
