Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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