JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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