Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
