With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
where are my eyebrows?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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