I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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