We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
