the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
