I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize