Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
