dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
