Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
