I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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