Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
