So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
