Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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