i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
