sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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