She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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