that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
