he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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