there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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