Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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