He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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