I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
