I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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