is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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