So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
