sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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