So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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