If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
