Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
