Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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