I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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