Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
