I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
