Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
