She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
