Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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