Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
